Time Travel

Let’s face it, you and your spouse are very different! We are just not wired the same. Sometimes we may think, why does my spouse have such a different viewpoint then I do on, money, sports, dating, time management, work, etc.?  Sometimes we have to put ourselves in our spouse shoes to understand understanding of certain topics. Let’s go back in time and see where our spouse has came from!

Option 1: If you live somewhat close to the houses you and your spouse grew up in, take a trip together and look at your old house. While you are there, talk about your memories there and what life was like in the house. This may give you an understanding where they have come from and why your spouse has different viewpoints.

Option 2: If you have them, watch home videos of each other growing up. Share with each other memories of what it was like growing up with your family. This may give you and your spouse understanding where each other have come from and different viewpoints.

Relationship Reconnection:

After you are done either watching home videos, or visiting the homes you and your spouse grew up in, talk about each other’s memories and thoughts on how you grew up. Share what was the number one thing that you learned growing up in your family with each other.

This might be an “AHA” or “No Wonder” experience for both you and your spouse. This will help you find understanding and empathy for each other. Embrace the differences between you and your spouse, they make your marriage fun and unique!

Recreate the First Date

It is time to show your fondness and admiration toward your spouse. This might not be everyone but for me and my spouse, things changed when we got married. We had so much fun when we were dating because we had those lovey dovey butterflies in our tummies. This date will hopefully bring back those emotions. Recreate your first date! If you went to dinner and played mini golf, do it! If you went for a picnic, do it! Reflect back on your dating years and enjoy each other’s company.

If your fondness and admiration are being chipped away, the route to bringing them back always begins with realizing how valuable they are. They are crucial to the long-tern happiness of a relationship because they prevent contempt from becoming an overwhelming presence in your life. The better in touch you are with your deep positive feelings for each other, the less likely you are to act contemptuous of your spouse when you have a deference of opinion.

Relationship Reconnection: Make your relationship a realm in which you and your partner exchange compliments often, and demonstrate how much you admire each other. This is a great way to create a generous, positive relationship.