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Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Commemorative Air Force

The B-52. (U.S. Air Force photo)

Take your time exploring a piece of history at the Commemorative Air Force! You can view a variety of Air Planes that served a big purpose  in world history. Here you can even book a flight on some of these old planes!

2017 N. Greenfield Rd
Mesa, AZ 85215
(480) 924-1940

Relationship Connection: 
You may have relatives that had a part during this time. Take some time to dive into your past and see who you discover. This will bring you closer by knowing more of who you are and where exactly you've come from.



Statues in down town Mesa

sculptures_0008_DSCN1852

This date is all about relaxing and enjoying a little tranquility.  Visit the down town statues. You can check out information here at Down Town Mesa. Pack up a picnic and enjoy each others company for the afternoon.

Relationship Reconnection:
Your spouse has a lot of admirable qualities.  It's your job to point them out.  Take turns and set the timer on your phone and list as many qualities for each other as you can in 60 seconds. Highlighting each others strengths can contribute to the health of your relationship! 

Pheonix Art Museum



Phoenix Art Museum | Phoenix Art | Phoenix Things to do | Phoenix.org

Come and visit the Phoenix Art Museum, here they have lots of art ranging from historical to modern and every thing that falls in between!

1625 N. Central Avenue Phoenix, AZ 85004-1685 (602) 257-1880 

Relationship Reconnection:
The power of empathy is key to a strong relationship.  Empathy requires compassion and compassion builds a bond.  This bond is what holds a relationship together.  One way to practice empathy is to give genuine attention when our spouse is speaking.  When you are genuinely listening, you are focusing on them and taking action to truly understand them.  Listen without focusing on your own response.  Truly listen. 

Phoenix Zoo

Captive Tiger Stock Photo
Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos
There is so much to see and experience at the Phoenix zoo.  There are many exhibits and experiences available.  Go see your favorite animal and enjoy the beautiful outdoors.  Visit Phoenix Zoo to find out more.

Relationship Reconnection:
Relationships are strengthened by seeking out the positive in each other.  See how many good things you can think of about each other.  When we focus on the good in a person, we are much less likely to become irritated or annoyed with them.  Focusing on their positive qualities can help you reconnect and foster love and compassion.

Grand Canyon


Debate Over Grand Canyon's Age May Finally Be Over
UniversalImagesGroup via Getty Images
The Grand Canyon competes with the rest of the world for being one of the most beautiful and mysterious places to visit. Why not take a romantic visit to see one of the natural wonders that are in your own back yard.

Relationship Reconnection:
There is nothing that can improve a relationship as much as vulnerability.  As difficult as it is to be truly authentic and vulnerable, the rewards are worth it.  To really build trust in a relationship, vulnerability is necessary.  Now it's your time to practice vulnerability and improving your trust.  Be open and talk about things that have been difficult or sensitive to open up about before.  Ask your spouse to do the same.  As you both become a little more vulnerable, your trust will increase and you'll be able to reconnect in a new way.

Apache Lake

www.tripadvisor.com.au Apache Lake


Take a trip too Apache Lake! A great place where you can go boating, fishing, water skiing, hiking or camping. Apache Lake is also an exciting place to see desert wildlife! Just 65 miles north-east of Phoenix.

Relationship Reconnection:
Many times couples are so busy with life that they don't take the time to communicate about feelings and needs that are most important to them.  Couples that don't deeply communicate often create emotional distance between themselves which can lead to our deepest feelings being neglected or pushed aside. Now is your time to really deeply communicate. Take time to open up about needs and desires in your marriage. You'll see that intimacy will increase and trust will be improved.

Frankies Cheese Steaks


best greek food


Visit Greek Town Restaurant! Greek Town has been in operation for over five decades and has been voted best in Phoenix 15 times.

 Phone: 602-674-8881
Address 8519 N. 7th St. Phx. AZ 85020

Relationship Reconnection:
This seems so simple, but with the business of life, we can loose sight of not only our needs, but our spouses needs too. Have a conversation about the things that really make each of you truly happy.  Find out what really gives your spouse joy, and then make this a priority.  Learning what feels the other person with joy can really help you feel closer. Individual joy and happiness can improve your relationship and bring it more joy too.

Friday, February 12, 2016

Starry night

Before we know it winter will be here! It is time to take advantage of the warmer weather before it’s too late! I know star gazing might be a little corny but, this really is a very beautiful setting for you and your spouse to relax, hold each other tight, and catch up on each other’s lives
Get out of the city to where the lights don’t shine but only the stars. Bring lots of pillows and blankets to keep comfy. If you have a truck, fill the bed with blankets and pillows. Bring some hot chocolate and grab your favorite snack to munch on. Now create a fun memory together.

Relationship Reconnection:
While enjoying the beautiful night sky, talk about non-defensive communication. What is this? Sometimes we find ourselves offended when our spouse gives us some criticism or feedback. We can either choose to be offended or use the feedback to better ourselves. Talk to your spouse about how non-defensive communication can strengthen your marriage and feel even closer. Share ways in which this can help your marriage grow even more. Also share when it is appropriate to do so. Make sure you both of you are on the same page.

Farmers Market ABC's


Grab your spouse and go to your local farmers market. Play farmers market ABCs. It’s really simple! See who can find something that starts with every letter of the alphabet first. While you’re at it,  try lots of free samples! It is always yummy trying the fresh foods the market has to offer.

Relationship Reconnection:
When relating to your spouse it is important to listen and empathize. We all know what it means to listen, to really listen. It is more than hearing the words, it is truly understanding and accepting the other person’s message and also in their situation and feelings. Empathy means understanding another person so well that you identify with them, you feel how they feel. Kind of like the expression walking in their shoes. With your spouse talk about empathy responding and practice what is appropriate in your relationship and what is not. Try to show empathy towards each other on your date and really listen to what your spouse has to say. Have fun!

A recipe for success

Baking Ingredients And Utensils Stock Photo
Photo Courtesy of Mister GC at Freedigitalphotos.net

Do you ever feel like it's challenging with kids to get out and go on a date.  Well, how about a stay at home date?  I've got five fun and free stay at home dates for you.


How about try your hand at some  baking?  What's not to love about the smells of pumpkin and spices? Bake up something sweet together and then share the treat.  If you need some inspiration, cruise pinterest together for a mouthwatering recipe.

Relationship Reconnection:
While you're baking up some sweet treats, do a little flirting, touching, and cuddling.  A little physical sweetness can go a long way in sparking that flame and reconnecting.

Cupcake Wars


Have you ever watched the show Cupcake wars on Food Network?  Turn this show into your favorite at home date night.  This date night can be done with each other or with a group.  Create your own cupcake wars by buying a bunch of ingredients that would be fun to make into cupcakes.  Remember to get decorations as well to make it more fun.  Give yourself a theme and a time limit to cook 12 cupcakes.  Take the cupcakes over to a neighbors house at the end of the date, and have them judge the cupcakes according to: best taste, best use of theme, best appearance.  This date will have you using your creative side, and can be very fun!

Relationship Connection:
After the activity portion of the date, cuddle up in some blankets and watch cupcake wars on Netflix. Spend
time choosing your favorite cupcakes, and enjoying the show.

Service

This date night is a little different then the regular. This date requires service and selflessness. Together, you and your spouse will do random acts of kindness all over town. Even the littlest things can make a big impact in someone’s life. I have compiled a list that might be something you and your spouse would like to do together.  
  • Leave kind notes
  • Bake cookies for the neighbors
  •   Visit the old folk’s home
  •   Mow your neighbor’s lawn or rake their leaves

There are several things that can be done to help your community and neighbors. You will be surprised how great it feels to help others.

Relationship Reconnection:
Before, during, after, or whatever floats your boat, Try to know what is happening in your partner’s world. Sometimes we get so caught up with our own lives, we forget about people that are most important to us. Really communicate by asking each other questions and truly reconnect.

Fall in love with this questionnaire

Image Courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
  Okay, so you aren’t really going to fall in love with the questionnaire, but hopefully be more in love with your spouse. A study was done to explore intimacy levels between two strangers. During this study couples had a list of questions to ask and answer. They rated their intimacy level with their fellow participant before and after the questionnaire. Many couples rated their intimacy levels higher after engaging in the questionnaire together. It takes 20-30 minutes to ask each other these questions. It is a great way to spend time together, and get to know each other all over again.

Here is the link to the questions: 36 Questions

Quality time together

  UNO Card Game - Free Shipping
Take some time to just relax and be together. Watch a favorite movie, play a card game or just talk with each other. A fun video to watch together is Weird Things All Couples Do found here. This channel has a few videos about couples, and could be something relaxing to do together. Find time to be together, that is the key to a successful date. 

Revitalize that Relationship!
Sexual intimacy is an important part of a healthy marriage. Sexual relations isn’t just about the physical, but is very mental and emotional. Plan a night when you can spend time together without interruptions or other engagements. If you have children, find a babysitter and get a hotel room or arrange time so you can be together.

Dream Home


 Have you ever spent time walking through model homes? If you or your spouse loves homes and decor this could be the perfect date. Even though you may not have the money now to purchase a $600,000+ home, doesn’t mean you can’t walk through and admire them. There are plenty of builders that have model homes available so that you can walk through and see them. This could be a great date to talk about what things you like and don’t like about a home. Whether or not a home theater is practical for your family, or if you really need that shower the size of a room. Regardless of if you are in the market for a new home, it’s fun to walk through and decide which things you would keep, and which you would change.

Relationship Application:
While you’re touring the home, make an effort to get to know your spouses likes and dislikes. What your spouse liked 3 years ago can differ a lot from what they like now. Especially with new trends going in and out, it’s fun to get to know your spouse better. Talk about what you would both do if you each had a million dollars to spend. Talk about goals and aspirations you both have for the future. If you could each purchase a dream home, what essentials would it need to have?

Dr. John Gottman talks about how it’s extremely important to get to know your spouse's world. (Their thoughts, opinions, dreams, feelings, and goals) Use this date to get to know more about your spouse while having fun! You can purchase John Gottman’s book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work here.

Would you rather?

Image Courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

When we think of dates, we usually think about big ideas that tend to cost money. Dates like those are nice, and help to build great memories with your spouse. But what about those weeks where you are seemingly too busy for a date? Play a little game called "Would You Rather." Take a half hour, sit down together and try and answer the following questions. These questions are for fun, a great way to laugh and spending time with each other in a hopefully novel way.


WOULD YOU RATHER…
-Be half your height, or double your weight?
-Fight a horse sized duck, or 100 duck sized horses?
-Live in the world of Harry Potter or Narnia?
-Have a zombie apocalypse or WWIII?
-Be super-fast or super strong?
-Have no internet, or no phone?
-Change the past, or see into the future?
-Be invisible, or fly?
-Lose sense of touch or taste?
-Be able to talk to all animals or be able to speak all languages?


Revitalize that Relationship!
Life can be hectic and your relationship may be the last thing on your To Do List. However, marriage can be an uphill battle. Research shows that once kids enter the picture, marital satisfaction goes down and continues that pattern until the children leave (at which time marital satisfaction goes back up). You can’t afford to slip away from each other. Even taking an hour a week to just be together can strengthen your marriage, and help fight the odds.

Butterfly Wonderland!

Connecting with nature and your spouse can help to decrease your stress levels. On this date, have fun doing both at the Butterfly Wonderland. Butterfly Wonderland has a 3D theater as well as rooms where you can learn about fish of the amazon and local insects. Check out their web page for more information

Revitalize that Relationship!
Like a caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, overtime your relationship with your spouse changes and becomes stronger. Think about what changes have happened in your relationship. What are some of your strengths together? What areas are you currently working on? What are some future challenges you are preparing for together? Discuss this with your spouse.

West World Paint Ball



Individuals (Xtreme Pursuit)


Try doing something that will really put some excitement into your life. At West World Paint Ball they have set up great obstacle courses. Some of these courses include a sniper tower and others have fog machines and special lighting.

Relationship Reconnection After you have enjoyed a great day paint-baling, go out and grab some ice cream or get a soda then talk about the level of trust you have in your relationship.  John Gottman said, "Trust is built in very small moments in which one person turns toward their partner when they're in need.  When our partner responds positively, by "being there" for us, that builds trust".  When has your spouse "been there" for you?  Are there ways they could be there for you more in future? Takes turns answering these questions for each other so that you can build the trust within your relationship. 

Marriage is when it begins

 "Here's why I think most men don't date their wives. They think that their mission was already accomplished when they got married. What I want men to see is that the real mission begins, the real adventure begins once you're married."

HERE are a list of some his ideas to date your wife. And HERE is his book.


Justin Buzzard's aim is to talk man to man - but women equally need the encouragement, so don't let yourself off the hook, ladies!



Don’t arrange this date out of duty to revive the romance from the past, go on this date looking forward to a bright future together. Every day is new, with the ups and downs it brings the opportunity to overcome and grow stronger together.


What if the best romance, the best sex, the best passion, the best memories, the best intimacy, what if that lies ahead? Maybe the best thing you could do as a man, for your family, is to date your wife.” –Justin Buzzard

Service without keeping score

Why do you serve your spouse?
…So they will serve you back?

…or do you do it because you love them?
“Sacrifice may sound awful, but it is one of the purest ways to show love to someone. Saying “I love you” is good, and necessary; but, giving of yourself, time after time, is proof that you really mean what you say.”

Petsmart

Petsmart

Petsmart.com
   If you are considering adopting a pet, make a date night of it! At PetSmart, dogs and cats are available for adoption. All of the adoption pets are spayed and neutered and current on vaccinations. PetSmart Charities helps to pay for a portion of the health assessment fee before adopting- lowering the cost even more for you.  If you aren’t interested in adopting, you can still go cuddle a few animals without the intention of bringing one home. (Although you might change your mind after experiencing extreme cuteness.) They also have birds, reptiles, fish, and small pets like chinchillas and hamsters.

While you’re there, talk about your childhood pets if you had any
What animals did you have in your home growing up? 
      What were their names? 
      What was your favorite pet? 
      What did your pets look like?
      Were they hard/ easy to take care of? 
            What animal would you choose as a pet now?
      Who would feed, clean, and play with it? 
            How did/would an animal benefit your family? 
            How would owning an animal be difficult for your family? 
            Is your living space adequate for an animal companion? 
            Do you have the financial and physical ability to own a pet, buy the supplies, and keep up with the maintenance?

Lunch Date!


Pick out a restaurant that you have never been to or one you really enjoy. 

Relationship Reconnection:
During your lunch date discuss the following ideas:
I picture us old, sitting in a rocking chair and you looking over at me and saying, “Daggum it, we never…”
The world’s best anniversary trip would be to go to…
No matter how much time you have you can still make times for your dates.

Start a love journal



Keep a love journal by your bed. Take turns every other night writing in it. It doesn't have to be fancy - it can just be a plain spiral notebook. But the point is, it keeps love on the mind. It forces you to find the good things in each other - the little things - every day. 
 
 

Nerf Wars


Head to your local retailer and pick out a couple of Nerf guns- one for each of you.  Then head back home and get take out from Quiznos It is time to play Nerf War!  Make sure you do not aim for the head or eyes.  Each of you have your gun, now it is time to see who runs out of bullets first!  Whoever loses has to give the other person a foot massage.    

"It (date night) will help rekindle the flame and allow you to experience some of the fun times that made you fall in love with your spouse in the first place."

While enjoying your food, reminisce about the fun times you had while you were dating before you were married.  What are some of those things you want to do again?  Plan a couple of those date nights for the next month.

As You Wish Pottery

paint

Enjoy spending time with each other doing something that is both fun and creative! As You Wish Pottery Painting is a great place to bring out your inner creativity.

Relationship Connection: Having common hobbies can help couples deepen their sense of intimacy, connection, and especially friendship. Take an art class and paint scenery from a favorite vacation you want to share together.

Cleaving=Unity

http://www.darrinachenbach.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/donut_whole_wichita.jpg
 As a couple you need to indulge in those things that are most delicious to you
on this date it is dessert only! 
All types of commitment are important, just like epoxy glue: Mixing the two components gives married couples a super strong bond. Sometimes married couples want to have a 5 minute easy fix to their marital problems. Glue can fix things that are broken but there are still cracks underneath it all. If problems get left unresolved it is much harder to fix them as the years go by as they've had had a chance to build up residue. Having a smooth surface, one that is free of cracks, allows a relationship to have a super strong hold.  
http://www.rcsolutionbd.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/BSI-201.jpg


The skill for couples to learn is how to resolve differences in a more healthier way, with active listening instead of impatient listening, and moderating unrealistic expectations by spending an evening alone together each week. Each spouse needs to cleave to the other. 
 
Spending an evening together does not take much work, and it does not need to cost anything. Just by simply taking that time shows your commitment and love to each other. The dedication to your relationship will keep your bond strong just like epoxy glue. Research shows that personally dedicated couples show a greater priority for the relationship, feel greater satisfaction with giving, and are less likely to seek greener marital pastures (Stanley, 2005).
Remember
Cleaving = Unity

Monet in mustard


 
 
Image courtesy of 'sattva' at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Did you ever finger paint in elementary school? Did you ever use condiments as your choice of paint? Well, now you can do both! For this date night activity you’ll need:

-newspaper
-paper/construction paper
-your choice of condiments (ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, ranch, BBQ sauce, etc.)
-table (optional)

First, you’ll line your table or floor with newspaper so that any excess condiments that don’t make it onto paper won’t leave a mess everywhere else. Next, you’ll place the paper that you’ll be painting the condiments on down on the newspaper. Now, all that’s left to do is to squirt different condiments on your paper and smear them around, making whatever picture or art masterpiece you want.

Your Daily R&R Tip! (Relationship Reconnection):
Not only will this activity bond you and your spouse together because of the fun memories you can create and share later on, but it will also bond you emotionally as well. If you would like, for your ‘painting’ you can draw or depict your favorite date that you’ve ever been on with your spouse and have them guess what it was, using the drawing as a clue, and then switch. Then you can take turns and discuss why those dates were your favorites and what you liked most about them.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Go cart racing

K1 Speed Kapolei 
Take your spouse to a really exciting night go cart racing! 

Relationship Reconnection: Talk about your first date- what did you do?  How were you feeling?  What did you think about each other after that date?  Sharing memories can help you reconnect with one another.

Riparian Preserve

 Ripariandept_banner
 Visit the Riparian Preserve at Water Ranch! A great place to get out and see the scenery. The Riparian has walking trails that loop the Water Ranch as well as take you off course into fine desert landscape.

Relationship Connection:
Just as working out is ineffective for our fitness aspirations if it is not done on a regular basis, so is the case with our marriage. In order to strengthen those marriage muscles we must constantly set time apart from our busy lives to stay strong.
Taking a walk together in the outdoors is a great way to stay healthy physically and emotionally. Set a goal together to run/walk a certain amount together, and install a fitness app to keep track to hold yourselves accountable. After reaching your goal, reward yourself with something you’ve agreed on.

Blacksmithing

piehschool
Pieh Tool BlackSmith School
Learn how to be a blacksmith for a day with your loved one. 

Relationship Connection:
The skill to learn here for a couple is when they are heated, or in a conflict/trial, it is important to be malleable like the steel (flexible). The longer you wait to fix your conflict the harder it will be to fix when the steel gets cold. 

Olive Garden




An Italian-American cuisine restaurant 

Read this quote together over dinner:

"We need an unspoiled companion who will not count our wrinkles, remember our stupidities nor remember our weaknesses, we need a loving companion with who we have suffered and wept...One with whom we have suffered sorrow and disappointments, one who loves us for what we are or intend to be rather than what we appear to be in our gilded shell." -Spencer W. Kimball

It's so easy to focus on what we want our spouse to be instead of just loving them for who they are. Do we love them in their wrinkles or do we keep nagging them to inject Botox?

John Gottman Spent 35 years in research observing couples in "Love Labs" and can predict divorce with 94% accuracy. He found that couples that get divorces have a positive to negative ratio of 0.8 that means for every 8 positive things said, there are 10 negative.That's a lot of wrinkle counting!

Where as happy couples have a Positive to Negative ration of 5 to 1.

While waiting for your food, make a list of all the things you love about your spouse, not mentioning their wrinkles. Bring up the positive ratio!

Past tense, Future Perfect

On this date go on an interesting historical ghost tour. But before you venture out on this date, make sure you leave any "ghosts" (or in this case) "conflict problems", in the past and not in the present. It is important that you do not go on this date with any current conflict- leave it in the past- because it will be a conflict free zone! For future dates it would also be helpful to apply this concept as well. When you go on dates together make that time strictly free of conflict. Only focus on the two of you, having fun, and deepening your love. Those are your three main goals. And if something does need to be resolved wait until you are back on neutral ground, somewhere each spouse feels comfortable and safe to talk about their issues calmly with one another. This will enhance your dates as you let it be a zone that is just for the two of you, and nothing else can get in the way!



While on this date learn how to leave certain things in the past. When you want to communicate with your spouse and tension builds up, Like bringing up old problems, or revisiting a conflict that was already resolved, it is not a healthy solution for communicating. When conflicts have been resolved previously and apologies were made, along with forgiveness accepted, do not bring up the past - this rule of thumb helps alleviate future problems from occurring. If couples keep their problems pent up inside eventually one or both of them will explode, this is not effective either. The best solution is to make sure that each spouse gets a turn to communicate their feelings/problems, etc. and that a goal is then reached on how to continue to solve conflicts together in the future.

"You have brains in your head
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself any direction you choose
You're on your own 
And you know what you know 
And YOU are the one who will decide where to go"
- Dr. Seuss

From this quote it can be put quite simply that as a couple you should both be on the same path that leads to your future success. Let that path be guided through happiness and growth, while avoiding the path that leads to the past.

Talk as Friends
Out of all marital topics, nurturing your freindship should be one of the top on your list! If it's not, then here is what you can do as a couple to talk as friends.
Too often couples are only focusing on talking all about the business of life: the job, the kids, and the problems. Of course these need to be handled but it is also important to make time to simply talk as friends first. These discussions were the ones that drew you into one another in the first place! set aside a day each week to have "friend time" and protect it from issues, conflict, and negativity.

Use these pointers to help guide your efforts for effective friend time:

- Look at your spouse while they talk, give them your full attention
- Avoid giving unsolicited advice 
- Communicate your understanding on occasion
- Take your spouse's side
- Avoid interrupting or rebutting
- Express affection
- Validate emotions


Remember that you are friends first, then spouses
Keep that bond close always and forever.
Of course there is past tension
but there is also a future filled with perfect moments
waiting to be enjoyed not just endured!

Polish your marriage

James Avery Jewelry
The day after I got engaged, I remember driving around with just my left up high on the steering wheel, mesmerized by all the shininess and sparkles and totally, absolutely in love. I was in awe of not only its beauty but of what it represented. My dreams were coming true!
The symbolism of a wedding ring is just perfect, really. In the shape of a circle, it never ends. Through the years our rings get scuffed with the daily grind of life. We need to take the time to polish it and remember how wonderful life can be when it shines and sparkles. 
With this in mind, go to the jewelry store together and polish your rings together. Then, commit to each other what things you will do to polish your marriage. 
http://www.turnbacktogod.com/poem-the-touch-of-the-masters-hand/
The Touch of the Masters Hand
Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
thought it scarcely worth his while to waste much time on the old violin,
but held it up with a smile; "What am I bidden, good folks," he cried,
"Who'll start the bidding for me?" "A dollar, a dollar"; then two!" "Only
two? Two dollars, and who'll make it three? Three dollars, once; three
dollars twice; going for three.." But no, from the room, far back, a
gray-haired man came forward and picked up the bow; Then, wiping the dust
from the old violin, and tightening the loose strings, he played a melody
pure and sweet as caroling angel sings.
The music ceased, and the auctioneer, with a voice that was quiet and low,
said; "What am I bid for the old violin?" And he held it up with the bow.
A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two? Two thousand! And who'll make
it three? Three thousand, once, three thousand, twice, and going and
gone," said he. The people cheered, but some of them cried, "We do not
quite understnad what changed its worth." Swift came the reply: "The touch
of a master's hand."
And many a man with life out of tune, and battered and scarred with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd, much like the old violin, A
"mess of pottage," a glass of wine; a game - and he travels on. "He is
going" once, and "going twice, He's going and almost gone." But the Master
comes, and the foolish crowd never can quite understand the worth of a soul
and the change that's wrought by the touch of the Master's hand.
Myra 'Brooks' Welch

Curry Corner

 
 This restaurant serves authentic Indian food. The menu lists affordable prices with many options for different tastes. This location is a great way for couples to experience rare, authentic foods from distant cultures and allows the couple to ‘travel’ to a different land for the evening. During the meal, discuss the most exotic or interesting places you've traveled (together or separately). Discuss some of the “adventures” you hope to have throughout the rest of your marriage (traveling, moving, building your own home, raising a family, or other ‘bucket list’ items).

Fishing!

Many go <b>fishing</b> all of their lives without knowing that it is not <b>fish</b> ...
wascleader.com
The idea
Fishing gives a couple lots of chatting time.  This is a great chance to reconnect and learn more about each other.  Take advantage of your close proximity to Marshall Lake.

Before your Date
You can make this as involved as you would like.  On one extreme, you can simply walk near the lake looking for fish.  And on the other extreme, you can rent a local boat, and commit yourselves to catching a fish.
  • fishing polls can vary in range of price.  Find something that is compatible to your price range.
  • Don’t forget the bate and a fishing license.
  • Pack a sack dinner to share.

While on the Date
At some point on your adventure, take a break from your pursuit to try and catch fish and snuggle, maybe while the sun is setting. There will be plenty of time to chat, so bring a list of get to know you questions for one another.  

What you take away
Down time as a couple is important for unwinding and relaxing.  Fishing may not be your typical relaxing activity, but you might be surprised how relaxing it is to be out on the water soaking in nature, even if you don’t catch a fish.  You will feel rejuvenated, maybe even more so than watching your favorite TV show together.  You will have plenty of time to chat and reconnect while enjoying your scenery.

Frisbee Golf

This game is also called disk golf which uses a version of a Frisbee (discs) and individual players take turns throwing the flying disc into a basket or a target. You go around the whole course and the object of the game is to have the fewest amount of throws of the disc. It’s great fun!

At each hole try and throw the Frisbee in a fun way (under the leg, spinning around, while standing backwards, or with your eyes closed) have the other person be the guide and tell you where to throw the Frisbee and see how well you can communicate together. The key is to avoid conflict and work together to get the Frisbee to the proper goal point. 
There is no winner in this game, you both have to reach the end together!

Fat Cats!


For a fun date visit Fat Cats and play Glow Golf or have fun playing arcade machines or trying your hand at bowling!

Relationship Reconnection: 
One of Dr. John Gottman's 7 Principles to Successful Relationships is to create shared meaning.  This means that it is important to create those big and small rituals that you do together as a couple. This might mean something as simple as going grocery shopping together every Tuesday or an annual vacation you guys go on each year.  As you go throughout your mini golf course, try to identify together the rituals that you already do together and try to think of some that you would like to start.

Defy the Odds be proactive

Too tired to go out? Too busy? Too poor? Can't get a sitter? Don't get complacent. Find a way...Be proactive.
Divorce Rate In America
http://www.prevention.com/sex/marriage/how-and-why-date-your-husband

                                        Yikes! Making the effort to date your spouse is worth it!


               At dinner, play "The Not-So-Newlywed Game" to test who well you know each other.

The parable of the silverwear

Image courtesy of www.Home-storage-solutions-101.com
“If You Want Something to Last Forever, You Treat it Differently”


 F. Burton Howard compared the effort needed in his 47 years of marriage to his wife’s treasured silverware. 

When special occasions arose, his wife got out the silver from under the bed (hidden from possible burglars), wrapped in tarnish-free cloth. Each piece was placed in a separate pocket, and it had to be hand washed so it would not spot. Special polish was purchased to carefully rub stains away. 

Through out the years, Burton watched his wife lovingly preserve the valuable silver, and admitted she was a bit eccentric with it. Then he realized his wife had profoundly taught him something:

 “If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. 

If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.”


      Elements of a Healthy Marriage

Don't know where to start? A healthy, strong marriage is comprised of many elements. No one dimension makes a marriage strong. 

Evaluate yourselves and pick a category that you could improve on as a couple. No marriage is perfect. This exercise is not to discourage you, but it is to be a starting point for you to make goals together as a couple to polish your marriage. 

Strong = 3; Moderate =2; Needs work = 1

1. _____  We communicate well.
2. _____  We are emotionally aware and expressive.
3. _____ We have effective conflict management strategies.
4. _____ We have learned to deal with our differences.
5. _____ We have a strong sense of commitment to each other.
6. _____ We have a sense of community with others.
7. _____ Marriage has been a place of healing and growth for us.
8. _____ We balance a high sense of intimacy and autonomy.
9. _____ We have clear gender roles and function well as a team.
10. ____ Our sexual life is a nurturing part of our relationship.
11. ____ We have dealt well with the challenges and crises life presents.
12.____ Our attitudes towards and beliefs about marriage have helped to nurture our relationship.
13. ____ We have been intentional as we think about, plan for, and act for our marriage.
14. ____We enjoy reflecting on and sharing the story of our journey together, including its positive and more difficult moments.
15.____ Our spirituality has positively influenced and been influenced by many of the above mentioned elements of our lives. 

Fruit carving date

 Fruit carving has been around in Thailand for almost 700 years- that ...
This is a great way to have some fun without leaving your house. Grab some fruit or veggies from the kitchen. It can be apples, oranges, mangos, whatever you have and a couples of knives. Watermelon are a great fruit to carve, but they aren’t as readily available. Each of you carve your fruit or veggie into a masterpiece of your own choice and then show each other. Make conversation while you carve away and then enjoy the fruit afterwards. This gives you the opportunity to sit and talk as well as test your artistic skills in carving.

Relationship Reconnection: Talk about your favorite fruit or veggie and why it’s your favorite. Share stories about foods from your past whether good or bad and learn about each other’s like or dislike of certain foods.

I'm dreaming of a book


Picture Courtesy of robinreads.com
Do you dream of books and having your own huge library someday?  For this totally free date (well, unless you succumb and buy a book), head over to your favorite bookstore and spend the evening reading and dreaming of the books you will someday have in your home library.  It doesn’t cost anything to dream! 

Your Relationship Reconnection Tip:
Try and find your favorite childhood book and read it to your spouse.  Why was it your favorite?  What memories does it bring back?  Talk about it and remember the good old days of childhood.  Talk about what books you would love to have in your very own home library. 

S'more fun

Image result for smores
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia

This date is all about having a little "smore" fun.  Build a fire in your own back yard (or you can even roast marshmallows in your oven if you're not feeling quite as adventurous or don't have a private yard) and make smores together. Share a sweet'n gooey treat and just snuggle up and talk.

Relationship Reconnection:
While making smores, talk about each others day and really listen to one another.  One way to connect is to be present and know about what's going on in the life of your spouse.  So, go ahead and show "smore" interest.